How often as a leader, parent or just for yourself has there been a behavior you wish to change? You create a plan, layout a schedule even, work on developing a new habit, work on accountability only to end up with the same behavior.
For change to really last it actually starts with your thinking. Your thoughts have to change first. Now we can’t control our first thought and we can control beyond that. It’s the thinking that will create a new state of being which will then lead to taking a new behavior and this over time is what create lasting behavioral change.
It’s our thinking that can change the meaning of our thoughts and feelings. Let’s take another look at what actually is going on with our thinking and how it is connected to our behavior. Let’s say you have something happen at the office. Someone at work uses an idea you had and doesn’t give you credit. Now you brain creates the meaning of that event, in this case you go to the negative. You believe they don’t respect you or like you. As a result you have feelings of frustration and resentment.
Now let’s take the same event and this time we make a positive meaning of the same event. Someone at work uses your idea and doesn’t give you credit. You’re excited they liked your idea and you go to them and ask how you can work on it together to implement it. They welcome the collaboration and you feel excited and you’re proud you can contribute. Same event, the meaning and feeling changed because it was your choice.
So the next time you identify a behavioral change that is needed, explore it from thinking first and see what change is possible.