People have often asked me since I work alone at home – “Do you talk to yourself?”. My answer YES and sometimes I even argue with myself! Here is something I’ve realized, those conversations in my head about me….those are often harsh, things I would never say to another human being. Interesting how our self talk can be so cruel and at the same time I cannot give to other what I do not have. So here are some things that have helped me have more loving self talk.
- Pay attention to those “conversations” in your head or what you say to yourself. If you say, “I can’t” or worse – putting yourself down, “I’m stupid”. When your hear it or recognize think about what you would tell your child or what would you have wanted to hear as a child. Such as:
- What if I can?
- How would I do it if I could?
- Who can help me?
- What are you great at?
- If you make a mistake or something doesn’t work. It’s only a failure if you don’t learn from it. I have truly experienced this in my world – if I make a mistake and don’t take time to ask myself, “What did I learn?” I will make the mistake again. You either succeed or learn. Ask yourself “What needs to change to get a different result?” Life is full of feedback.
- Identify the feelings when you find you have negative self talk. You will find an emotion behind the words. When you can identify the feeling you can begin to separate that it’s an emotion not who you are. Emotions are not right or wrong they just are.
- I know when I can get past the negative self talk and feelings I can laugh at the situation. Humor and laughter are some really great mood shifters for me.
- Finally, surround yourself with positive people. I have amazing people in my world and am grateful for each of them.
Your thoughts will create your feelings and that will impact your behavior. Love yourself unconditionally and trust yourself. You are the best version of you in the world! Hears to doing You BETTER!